When was the last time someone betrayed you in a serious way?

The harm was profound, possibly life-changing. Yet, you may have felt the whole thing was, in some way, your own fault. Maybe you even let it go (again), or minimized the betrayal.

When we are egregiously betrayed in childhood, we often do not remember or frame the hurtful experience as betrayal for years, even decades.

This is because we depend on our caregivers for survival: if something is wrong, it’s often safer for a child to believe that she is the problem; it’s her fault. This is more tolerable than believing the parents upon whom our survival depends are irresponsibly harming and endangering us . . . Years later, we may find ourselves choosing unreliable and even abusive partners and friends. Betrayal becomes part of regular life.